We are all one

Inge Fiedler (Ishwari)
Yoga teacher, Bichenbach, Germany

The last words you said to me last September (2003) were:
Forget me, I want to be free when I go.
No, my family and I will never forget you!

We met Swami Atmananda when we came to Singapore in 1987, and we attended  yoga classes until 1991, sometimes three times a week. All her teachings in class and satsang were right for us. I called her up regularly, telling her, I can’t handle my life! She would say, come this afternoon and we’ll talk about it.

I didn’t like her answers most of the time – I needed sometimes weeks or longer to understand. How can she know and give me an answer for my problem, I thought – she grew up in Asia and we in Europe. But I came back and asked and discussed, and she was always right! She gave us the wonderful feeling of oneness – that we are all one.

For every single person who came to her, she had a smile from the heart – her never-ending love. During the yoga class the students liked to feel her sense of humour, to feel light – and at the end of every class to enjoy the wonderful yoga nidra. With a smile on the face and new strength for everyday life, we all went home, already waiting to come back again.

But still I was reserved and critical. Was this kind of yoga the answer I had been searching for, for years? Was the swami dressed in geru the person I was seeking? She was, is, and always will be.

The teachings of Mataji, and her example of how to see and handle life, helped us go through life in a much better and happier way. She showed us how to live in a family with a partner, children, parents; how to be aware; how to carry on. She opened our eyes to see our inner potential and strengths, but also our weaknesses and how to work with them.

There was my husband, tired after a long day working in the bank, my daughter, aged 8, homesick, missing her friends and grandmother, and me, not happy living in a tropical climate, missing the cool mountains. Through her we understood that if there is love in the family, the whole world will change.

She guided us through difficulties during our time in Singapore, and will guide us always, throughout our lives. Her wisdom and love are still giving my family the feeling that we are not alone; she showed us how important a family is and how helpful the practices of yoga can be.

I never thought I would teach yoga here in Germany, but since 1996 I have been  teaching regular classes. Today I can say: yoga saved my life. It was yoga as Mataji taught it, practical and with an open heart, with awareness and a sense of humour.

I am very thankful to have seen her for the last time in September 2003 in Mumbai. Just to be with her, talk to her and hear her advice: ‘ forget me, I want to be free when I go’.

But her last advice we cannot follow. We will never forget her.